Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.

Text Box: Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.      -  BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
… ignore them at your own risk!

People will respond or react to the APES©their own and others'…

Assumptions: What we believe to be real, including intent. What we think we know about the subject in discussion or the other (s); each person's truth.

Perceptions: What we ‘see’ in our frame(s) and what they see in theirs.  Often fed by assumptions, what we see and experience, interpreted by us about what is happening and ultimately becoming each person's TRUTH (we each have our own truths).

Expectations: What we want to happen in our minds and/or hearts, expectations often confused with what we believe will happen if??_. Positive and negative expectations often depend on our general view of life and whether people see their 'cups as ‘˝ full’ or ˝ empty'. Most often, people react to what they expect, what is assumed to be hurling down at them, based on their (and our) assumptions and perceptions of ‘the other’ or the other's current or historical behaviour. 

Solutions: What we believe will satisfy our expectations, gaining and/or protecting what we value MOST.


       Most APES© rarely see the light of day until irritated, annoyed or threatened. They in the background of our lives, often hidden from view. Step lively and carefully if or when you see their droppings, the ‘gifts’ or opportunities the APES© leave for you. Such gifts may look like ‘the other person’s anger, frustration, exit in a ‘huff’, or ‘shuts down’. These are the clues others will leave for you. Your own are somewhat more difficult to spot. They will look like bias about how others act or think,  judgements in fact, and most important in the conflict context, assumptions about another’s intent to harm us.  I know the following is somewhat of a repetition, it does bare repeating however given its importance to resolving conflicts and managing relationships.

      Within our hearts and minds, APES© can be managed; here are some guidelines:  : 

Assumptions (Judgements): Don't JUMP to CONCLUSIONS.

                                    Assumptions are not FACTS; clarify and confirm meaning and or intent.

Perceptions: LOOK and LISTEN for evidence.

                                    After all, what you perceive may be based on mis-assumptions or _?_.     

Expectations: We all have them and ultimately, they will affect outcomes.

                                    Work with the other to satisfy hopes, aspirations, wants, needs, fears and _?_.

Solutions: Make sure your attempts to negotiate acceptable solutions to your expectations                                           conform to who you are and what you wish to accomplish, relationally.

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.