Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.

“What did Jason and Margaret mis-understand…or avoid?” continued.


Margaret: Jason's actual commitment in respect to how much and when; Jason's reaction to her changing the "holiday plans;" plus Jason's reaction to her style as she communicated those plans.


Both: With little understanding about each other, each missed the potential impact of an escalated dispute on the other and the now bifurcated family.


Margaret, Jason, Carol, and Sid: what happened? 


        What brought both Margaret and Jason back to the table was the key phrase which ultimately generated an agreement when they were finalizing their divorce seven years earlier: "In the best interests of the children…" were the words the mediator so often repeated and which moved them off their individual positions to a place where they began to look at options and at what each needed for 'peace in the family'. Suspicion and judgement brought them to that conflictual place, and only forgiveness, acceptance and understanding could raise them out of the 'quicksand'. Maybe the forgiveness was too much to hope for, but clearly acceptance and understanding were doable with the appropriate catalysts. They didn't end up going back to the judge, choosing instead to work through their differences with an experienced lay (non-lawyer)-mediator. By again focussing on their common goal, a functioning extended family, he was able to help them calmly discuss first the upcoming vacation, then the issue of support, ultimately helping them reach an agreement whereby both were again relatively satisfied. What was the agreement? Carol and Sid would spend their school-holiday with Jason and his family up to and including Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, after which they could, now with Jason's agreement, go to Mexico with Margaret. Jason also supplied a letter of intent, with the first check attached, setting up an account, and depositing an agreed-upon amount each month for their education or whatever else might become necessary for their growth and development in the future.




        If the relationship is important to you, live up to your commitments or, if you prefer plain language, put your 'money' where your mouth is. And if a glitch appears seemingly out of nowhere, handle it in a way which will support the relationship, not destroy it.

Text Box: “COMMITMENTS”  continued ...
Text Box: STUPIDITY: Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building- block of the universe.  I dispute that.  I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.     - FRANK ZAPPA

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.