Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.

And by the way…   How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?        -- The patients get better and leave.

                  - Not every one of the patients thinks he is God.

                           - The staff have the keys!



        We all have choices, especially when the 'conflict monster' enters the room; yet experience, confirmed by recent studies, indicates that emotional maturity is required to generate alternatives to disputes and alienation. I love Jean Vanier's reference to what many of us strive to achieve; "Compassion is maturity and maturity is acceptance. Maturity is precisely the acceptance of yourself with your own flaws, as well as others with their flaws. Maturity, then, is to discover who we are." Socrates said, "Know thyself." That remains a fundamental need, especially when in conflict, including, if not especially, internal conflict. 


If you care about resolving differences you have with another,

don't give in to compulsions which take you to a place where you might not want to go; that place is 'DISPUTE-VILLE' (if you'll pardon my 60's jargon)!

Text Box: “CURB THOSE COMPULSIONS… to attack or avoid, to fight or to flight!” continued
Text Box: A negotiation is only an outstanding success if …

 ...conditions have improved for everyone involved to their relative satisfaction, and a positive, working relationship has been established or maintained.

A labour leader recently commented to me that he had the "…company on the run." The reality was that on that particular morning, his union members had walked out on strike. The company responded by locking them out. In my opinion, both actions reflected failure by those at the negotiating table.
I then asked for his rationales, for his opinion about how a work stoppage could be perceived as anything but a "negotiating failure?" His response was that such actions and the potentially negative short-term consequences were the union's cost of "doing business." I walked away from that conversation shaking my head, thinking that he sounded a lot like many of our national and international leaders. I never had the opportunity to speak to the Company's leaders but such mis-conceptions about success in negotiations are rampant in our society.
Unfortunately, rationalizing is one of the 'best' things people do on regular basis. In conflict, failure to negotiate collaboratively through to functional outcomes does constitute a failure on the part of those negotiating. It doesn't matter whether the dispute is interpersonal, organizational, or international, and it matters less whether negotiators like my labels or not. In my opinion, honesty,  integrity, and accountability are what's important.

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.