Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.

Text Box: When it comes to communicating … 
HANDLE WORDS WITH CARE!... (if you care about the relationship!) 
The words might not be fragile but your target might be!


       Bill was frustrated to the point of tearing his hair out; if he hadn't already lost it years ago. His problem was that he just couldn't understand why his seven colleagues on the Board of Directors wouldn't give him the help he needed. They even refused to debate about what to do or how to do it. "Didn't they understand the crisis staring them in the face?"


      A passionate, committed, and high-powered successful CEO, Bill had only recently registered that his colleagues were holding back from discussing decisions about managing their organization. No matter what he said or how much he tried, it made little difference. They just wouldn’t engage. Was it his style? Was it that ultimately, they didn’t really care. Not that since they could easily resign; it certainly wouldn’t be much of a loss to any of them. It had to be something under since Bill operated on the basis that if something didn’t make sense to him, he was obviously missing information.


      Then one fine day, thanks to his assertive VP, Catherine, the missing piece was uncovered.  He could almost feel his blood pressure going up the scale as he heard the hard truth. "Your passionate style inhibits Board members from participating" was Catherine's first reaction as he described his frustrations. "It's become about you, not about what you're saying," she continued in a tight voice, avoiding his eyes. "Your style, your powerful voice and intellect often frighten us away from even questioning you. No matter how many times you say you need our input and feedback, your messages say something very different to us. I understand that its passion not anger which motivates you, but even I have to back away from you sometimes. So just give people a break and you'll see the difference."  Bill later told me that Catherine's guidance helped him see what changes were needed.


      Bill changed how and what he communicated, and soon, so did his Board members. He confirmed that the signals he sent were those received and reaped the benefits. Think about the conflicts in your life which haven't, or aren't going in the direction you want them to. Ask yourself if it is MIS-COMMUNICATIONS which contribute(d) to your realities, then do what needs to be done.

Text Box: Every communication, including those signals you send through your body language, behaviour and words, will determine if a conflict evolves or is resolved!
Up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues.
7 percent by the words used,
38 percent by voice quality, and
55 percent by the nonverbal communications.
When words and non-verbals didn't match, approximately 90% of those in the UCLA study responded and reacted to what they saw or felt, not to the words they heard.

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.