CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...
Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.
A case study for the interested reader:
Bill had been sitting for the past three hours waiting for his son, Trevor, to come home; this was the third time Trevor had ignored his curfew (spitefully in Bill's view) and Bill was out of whatever little patience he possessed. He could feel himself getting angrier and angrier as his anxiety and worry escalated. Picturing a disaster, it wasn’t long that his now pounding head signalled the expected migraine coming on.
And then Trevor arrived. As Bill heard the screech of tires moving into the driveway, he was up and heading for the front door and the inevitable explosion.
So what were Bill's options in the case described above? Role back the imaginary tape and see what you might do (in similar circumstances), or Bill might have done to generate an outcome preferable to the divisive battle which ensued. Clues to what was really important would reside under the following headings:
Bill's Wants, Needs, Goals:
Alternative outcomes (from Bill's perspective):
Brainstorm potential answers to the areas of focus listed above; then compare your perspectives with the perspectives and realities below.
CASE STUDY: our perspectives and the 'real life' outcomes:
Bill's Wants, Needs, Goals: Trevor's safety, Trevor's compliance, Trevor's love, personal respect, a healthy relationship with Trevor, peace.
Bill's challenges: his own anger, frustration, impatience and experiences, all requiring self-management. More about Bill and Trevor...
D ecide… how much you value the relationship… make this a mutually agreed-upon, 'stated' focus…
E xplore… what's really viewed as being threatened… by you and the other(s)…
A ssert… your commitment to resolving differences collaboratively, to a cooperative relationship…
L eave… this first agreement (once it is agreed) with a specific plan to satisfy the "Assert" goals!
ABOUT Conflict... What conflicts look like…
Disputes … WHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE, and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.
CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.