Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.




* Where... R=Resistance,  P=Perceptions of, U= Unmet, and, N= Needs


Resistance to any solution or resolution

indicates that the ‘resisting’ person has consciously or unconsciously

perceived that some or all of his/her needs

will not be met by the suggested solution or resolution,

or by the process itself.

(...with an underlying belief that they’ll be worse off if they participate in what you’ve suggested.)



RESISTANCE IS AN OPPORTUNITY; believe it and it will be so.


              You have a great solution to a problem; you email it to a colleague who is involved on a project; she responds tersely, telling you that …”with all due respect, YOUR solution is not even close to what we had discussed the last Friday.”


          You’re surprised and don’t know where to go next. If that is the case, it will pay to remember that…


            If you value the relationship, if you want a solution which has been collaboratively decided, you now might have to go back and find out the reason for the resistance you've experienced. You will need to cross that metaphorical bridge you've built to uncover those still hidden ‘needs’ which the 'other' wishes to have satisfied. But only if you want the 'other' to collaborate on the solution and to leave a future 'negotiating table' relatively satisfied.


CON RES TIP: When you’re trying to engage somebody in a process to resolve a conflict, dispute, or merely differences which have surfaced, be patient.


         If they resist meeting, creating a threshold barrier, become curious as to ‘why’. It could be fear; of you or the process or potentially negative outcomes. It could also be merely that they do not understand what you’re suggesting. Be clear in why you want to talk with them and question what would make them want to meet with you. Try to hunch the why’s,  not to assume, merely in preparation.


Explore resistance patiently if you want to resolve conflicts collaboratively.

Text Box: How you manage the APES© will define all your future relationships.

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.