Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.

Text Box: Why can’t they just get along?
What makes them agree or disagree?



Why are they important and what are they?…

       Our triggers, generally speaking what motivates us to agree or disagree, to feel threatened or secure include:


· Situational needs (interests) relative to what is happening to, or around us, in the moment, and

· basic needs which we feel are necessary for our physical, emotional, and/or psychological survival (or satisfaction), and

· fundamental values which are important, or critical, and in which we believe to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the issue.

Although values and interests are different for all of us, in both substance and relative importance, they have something in common. When threatened, we all react or respond. Our difficulty seems to stem from the fact that we each place different levels of importance to each.  And as we know from history, past and present, values are often non-negotiable to their owners. Acceptance and understanding?

Text Box: What are our interests, also labelled as needs:

         INTERESTS… include hopes, fears, beliefs and values, expectations, concerns, and any other needs people have, or believe they have; in any case, such needs have to be relatively satisfied, or at least considered, acknowledged and validated if any agreement is to be satisfactory and lasting. When people perceive that they’re threatened, or ignored, they will do whatever they feel they must to alleviate or at least protect themselves against such threats.  Reflect on past situations, both positive and negative in outcome to figure out which ‘needs’ were  important catalysts to escalation, or de-escalation.     


                    VALUES… also known as fundamental needs, are even more basic to an individual's motivation. Understanding values and their impact will suggest clues to underlying interests people might feel are being threatened.  Furthermore, being aware of the values YOU live by will help you to identify commonalities between yourself and anybody with whom you are negotiating; this will be one way to build a bridge, thereby supporting the relationship while promoting collaboration and agreement. Your values, and whether they are ‘fulfilled’, most often will also influence whether YOU are satisfied with your life or not. The link at the end of this paragraph will take you to lists of  interests and values. Reflect on which of these, or others, have SIGNIFICANT meaning for you. These will be your triggers whenever they are threatened. The more important each is to you, the greater effect a threat will have on you.   More about “triggers”...

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.