CONFLICT RESOLUTION & RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT...
Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.
My feedback to Beth questioned the source of the problems, whether there were value-based biases operating in the background, and what options she saw for resolution. The only option she saw at that moment of escalation was the "…waste of time…" comment. Fortunately for Beth, this was an emotional reaction. I knew if I waited the penny would drop and so it did; her intuitive sense, enhanced by her knowledge and skills said something very different to her so the other options, caring ones, would involve negotiating collaboration so that they might jointly build a bridge between them. In fact, a conversation with her colleague did just that and they had a constructive conversation about a potential future 'difficult conversation' focussed on transforming their relationship. Beth knew instinctively that her efforts would be effective if she cared enough.
Values represent basic convictions that "a specific mode of conduct or end-state of existence is personally or socially preferable to an opposite or converse mode of conduct or end-state of existence." (M. Rokeach, The Nature of Human Values (New York: The Free Press, 1973) I read Rokeach to mean that values are our belief that some behaviours are acceptable while others may not be, as some outcomes and bottom-line realities are tolerable while others are also unacceptable. As we know from almost any daily newspaper and news program, values contain judgmental elements in that they carry an individual's or group's ideas as to what is right, good, or desirable; in so doing, they usually also affect the believers' responses and reactions when such judgements are applied to challenging situations.
Some more examples currently challenging society, and possibly us, include whether “capital punishment is right or wrong? How about racial quotas in hiring; are they right or wrong? If a person likes power, is that good or bad? The answers to these questions are value laden. Some might argue, for example, that capital punishment is right because it is an appropriate retribution for crimes like murder and treason. However, others might argue, just as strongly, that no government has the right to take anyone's life.
WHY ARE VALUES IMPORTANT IN THE CONTEXT OF CONFLICT AND RELATIONSHIP?
Understanding the importance of values will help you to identify a person's underlying situational needs, otherwise labelled as interests, when differences arise. Furthermore, being aware of the values you live by will help you to identify commonalities between yourself and any person with whom you are negotiating; by focussing on common values, a relational focus can be motivated on which to base collaboration and hopefully in time, agreement.
ABOUT Conflict... What conflicts look like…
Disputes … WHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE, and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.
CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.