Appropriate Resolutions for life’s relationships.

When it comes to managing relationships by resolving conflicts and disputes, some important components which may determine outcomes include:

· Understanding your own values and the priority they represent to you;

· understanding how those values affect your reactions when challenged;

· hunching what 'threatened' values might be escalating the other person(s);

· hunching the common values which both (or all) of you share;

· hunching the interests and needs which flow from the value systems in place for both of you.


     Much has been written and taught about the impact of threatened interests and needs. What is important to understand is that those needs/interests are fundamentally dictated by the values held to be important by each and every one of us.



        When you’re challenged with a situation involving differences between people, and if those involved in any resolution process don’t begin by focussing on what ‘values’ they have in common, reaching agreement will prove to be more difficult than it needs to be, if not impossible in some cases. Outcomes will depend on the importance of the threatened personal or professional values as demonstrated and communicated by those involved. Key to reaching understanding will by the HOT keys: Honesty, Openness, and Transparency. Try them and see what you get, hopefully a preferred outcome.

Text Box: “VALUES are what really matter… in conflict or life!” continued.

Website table of contents  and Joseph Ravick …  links to what’s on this site and who I am.

ABOUT Conflict...  What conflicts look like…

DisputesWHAT DO DISPUTES LOOK LIKE,  and how do people react or respond when conflicts escalate into disputes? (the many faces of conflict),.

COMMUNICATION & CONFLICT  Definitions, terms, jargon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION TIPS AND GUIDELINES: Strategies and behaviours for you to apply when in conflict.

CONFLICT CHRONICLES: Original stories by Joseph Ravick with a common theme. The chronicles feature real-life conflicts describing the people, their relationships, and the outcomes which they experienced whether they liked it or not.  


REFLECTIVE EXERCISE: Identifying and Prioritizing Your Values

     Below you will see a chart with instrumental (in green) and fundamental (intrinsic) values (in red). Using either list or a combination of both, rank the values which have a priority for you from 1 to 3, with  ‘1’ being a critical value, potentially triggering you when threatened; and so on and so forth. There are no right or wrong answers, so be completely honest in your responses. Add others if you discover them during your reflections about historical conflicts in your life.

o A prosperous life

o consideration

o generosity

o respect

o Security for loved ones

o courage

o joyfulness

o tact

o A sense of accomplishment

o courtesy

o justice

o ______

o Equal opportunity for all

o creativity

o love

o ______

o Personal freedom and independence

o determination

o loyalty

o ______

o An enjoyable, leisurely life

o enthusiasm

o moderation

o ______

o Inner peace and harmony

o faithfulness

o obedience

o ______

o Respect and admiration from others

o flexibility

o patience

o ______

o Close friendships

o forgiveness

o reliability

o ______